The (sometimes poorly) drawn records of a queer transboy going through life at breakneck speed. {The other Tumblr}

[A page out of a moleskine-like notebook, with small annotated drawings. It reads:THINGS I GOT FOR MY 21st BIRTHDAY:A small Intuos 4 (from myself)A cold (from my friend Jen)Red wine and a Sandile plush (from my room mates)A hand-knit Ravenclaw scarf (from my younger sister)Lamb marsala and ice cream with blueberry sauce (from my boyfriend)Good wishes (from Facebook and Tumblr)And, in my birthday card, a letter from my mother, telling me that she loves me, and that I’m breaking her heart.]
It has now, as of this National Coming Out Day, been exactly one year since I called my parents and tried to come out to them. My dad blames my mom for teaching me to be tolerant of other people. To my mother, every accomplishment I’ve ever made is now nulled by my being transgender. She is no longer proud of me. So there’s that.
Sorry for the lack of comics. This semester has been a combination of long work nights, loads of animation homework, and having to deal with Equal, which uses up all the stamina I have to deal with being trans* and putting it on paper. Plus I have another comic that honestly takes precedence over this one, because it’s a story I want to tell and it gets me away from the real world for a while. But, of course, there’ll be more TransProps soonish.

[A page out of a moleskine-like notebook, with small annotated drawings. It reads:
THINGS I GOT FOR MY 21st BIRTHDAY:
A small Intuos 4 (from myself)
A cold (from my friend Jen)
Red wine and a Sandile plush (from my room mates)
A hand-knit Ravenclaw scarf (from my younger sister)
Lamb marsala and ice cream with blueberry sauce (from my boyfriend)
Good wishes (from Facebook and Tumblr)
And, in my birthday card, a letter from my mother, telling me that she loves me, and that I’m breaking her heart.]

It has now, as of this National Coming Out Day, been exactly one year since I called my parents and tried to come out to them. My dad blames my mom for teaching me to be tolerant of other people. To my mother, every accomplishment I’ve ever made is now nulled by my being transgender. She is no longer proud of me. So there’s that.

Sorry for the lack of comics. This semester has been a combination of long work nights, loads of animation homework, and having to deal with Equal, which uses up all the stamina I have to deal with being trans* and putting it on paper. Plus I have another comic that honestly takes precedence over this one, because it’s a story I want to tell and it gets me away from the real world for a while. But, of course, there’ll be more TransProps soonish.

Text

[A comic panel. A young man in a grey hoodie is ordering a cup of black coffee from a blonde girl at the counter. It is captioned 'I've been looking for a good metaphor for what getting misgendered feels like for me.']

['I've concluded that it feels kind of like this:' the barista smacks the young man across the face with what looks like a large bluefin tuna, while saying with a smile, 'it'll be right out, MA'AM']

[The young man is holding his coffee in one hand and the side of his face in the other, looking perturbed but saying 'thanks'. 'Why a fish? Well, it hurts like hell.']

['And it's frustrating.' The young man is standing at a counter with sugar a pitcher of cream on it, thinking, 'why would you even do that']

['And it's absurd.' The young man is tipping the cream pitcher over his cup of coffee, asking himself 'what about me told her that was necessary anyway']

['And sometimes the stink of it sticks to you all day long.' The young man is walking, looking frustrated, with the cup of coffee to his lips. He is mumbling 'why do people keep hitting me with these motherfucking FISH.']

Sorry for the wait! I’ve been hard at work over on my other Tumblr writing and drawing another comic called White Noise, which I hope y’all will check out when it starts up in August. :D

Also—holy shit, three hundred followers! Thanks everyone!

Bonus:

[The same young man is dressed as Harry Potter, wand in hand. He is being hit from behind by another large fish, while someone is yelling, 'hey, that Harry Potter is a girl!']

[The young man is glaring over his shoulder, surrounded in a bright green aura. Above his head the words 'BASILISK STARE' are written in the same green.]

I was dressed up for an event and got this from a guy I know. He doesn’t know I’m trans*, but he made a big enough show of telling everyone around me how I was a girl dressed up as Harry Potter that I stabbed him with my wand had to use the basilisk stare.

[A flyer for the Zebra Coalition Youth Transgender Support Group. It reads:The Zebra Coalition is pleased to announce the start of a new youth transgender support group.This licensed counselor led support group will address important issues facing today’s transgender youth, ages 13-24. Topics to be discussed will include; coming out to yourself and family, legal rights, employment, education, medical treatment, internet safety and much more. We will also feature a monthly guest speaker to give professional and personal insight into real-life situations. Please come and join us and share your thoughts, stories or feelings or simply observe the group until you are comfortable enough to share.Wednesday July 20, 20106:30-7:30 PMZebra House115 East Marks St, Orlando, FL 32803877-90-ZEBRA or info@zebrayouth.org]
Sorry for the lack of comics lately. I’ve been focused on other creative endeavors, though I have a couple of comics brewing to put here.
This was brought to my attention by my LGBTQ organization’s advisor. I thought I’d share it here for any local trans*folk, in case you need it. Check out the Zebra Coalition’s website for more info!

[A flyer for the Zebra Coalition Youth Transgender Support Group. It reads:
The Zebra Coalition is pleased to announce the start of a new youth transgender support group.
This licensed counselor led support group will address important issues facing today’s transgender youth, ages 13-24. Topics to be discussed will include; coming out to yourself and family, legal rights, employment, education, medical treatment, internet safety and much more. We will also feature a monthly guest speaker to give professional and personal insight into real-life situations. Please come and join us and share your thoughts, stories or feelings or simply observe the group until you are comfortable enough to share.
Wednesday July 20, 2010
6:30-7:30 PM
Zebra House
115 East Marks St, Orlando, FL 32803
877-90-ZEBRA or info@zebrayouth.org]

Sorry for the lack of comics lately. I’ve been focused on other creative endeavors, though I have a couple of comics brewing to put here.

This was brought to my attention by my LGBTQ organization’s advisor. I thought I’d share it here for any local trans*folk, in case you need it. Check out the Zebra Coalition’s website for more info!

[Two people sitting on either side of a set of scales. The lower one on the left is dressed in blue; the other is in red.Right: “I can afford to put $50 towards surgery this month!”Left: “For now you can. And it’ll still take years to save enough.”Right: (now slightly lower than the left scale) “I’m doing the best I can. You’re a dick.”Left: “No, I’m a realist. Do better.”Right: “…I’ll get there. Eventually.”Left: “Not fast enough.”]
Sorry it’s been so long…I just haven’t had much time, or anything to say, for that matter.
I think it’s pretty normal to swing between extreme positives and negatives when it comes to being trans*. Or anything, for that matter. Gah.
Halfway through assembling this I realized I actually probably can’t spare that fifty bucks come fall. So uh. The punchline!

[Two people sitting on either side of a set of scales. The lower one on the left is dressed in blue; the other is in red.
Right: “I can afford to put $50 towards surgery this month!”
Left: “For now you can. And it’ll still take years to save enough.”
Right: (now slightly lower than the left scale) “I’m doing the best I can. You’re a dick.”
Left: “No, I’m a realist. Do better.
Right: “…I’ll get there. Eventually.”
Left: “Not fast enough.”]

Sorry it’s been so long…I just haven’t had much time, or anything to say, for that matter.

I think it’s pretty normal to swing between extreme positives and negatives when it comes to being trans*. Or anything, for that matter. Gah.

Halfway through assembling this I realized I actually probably can’t spare that fifty bucks come fall. So uh. The punchline!

PFLAG wrote back to say that they don’t have any regulars who’re parents of trans* kids, but that they’d love to have me as a member. It was worth a shot.
I do love my parents but I think the farther I get in transition, the bigger the distance between us’ll get. Once I would’ve tortured myself over what to do about that, but now I’ve decided that if they can’t support me, all right. I’ll do this thing on my own, no problem.
I’m just still holding out on the hopes that they’ll come round. And they probably will. Maybe.

PFLAG wrote back to say that they don’t have any regulars who’re parents of trans* kids, but that they’d love to have me as a member. It was worth a shot.

I do love my parents but I think the farther I get in transition, the bigger the distance between us’ll get. Once I would’ve tortured myself over what to do about that, but now I’ve decided that if they can’t support me, all right. I’ll do this thing on my own, no problem.

I’m just still holding out on the hopes that they’ll come round. And they probably will. Maybe.

[A drawing of a short transman in a pair of cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and badly-drawn flip flops. He stands in profile, smiling slightly. The caption reads ‘Wore shorts for the first time in a year.’]
Just putting this here as a reminder. (People following my other tumblr already saw me banging on about this.) I bought a pair of cargo shorts last year when I was first coming out to myself; they’re the comfiest damn things. I’m notorious for wearing long jeans even in the dead of summer, but when you wear so many layers to bind, something has to give. I’ve just been a little self conscious; I’m actually pretty fond of my furry legs, but in public I’m wary. Or paranoid. Probably paranoid.
But today I kept score at a volleyball tournament with Orlando’s Pride organization. Everyone was friendly and I got no funny looks. That’s as much as I wanted. :D
Also hello, all you new people! Uh! Thanks for following!
EDIT: Almost forgot! You guys—this is my friend Samm and he’s amazing. You should buy music from him. I swear I’m not going to hawk wares to you guys all the time, but Samm could use some help right now money-wise so if you could check out his music, that’d be awesome. :D

[A drawing of a short transman in a pair of cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and badly-drawn flip flops. He stands in profile, smiling slightly. The caption reads ‘Wore shorts for the first time in a year.’]

Just putting this here as a reminder. (People following my other tumblr already saw me banging on about this.) I bought a pair of cargo shorts last year when I was first coming out to myself; they’re the comfiest damn things. I’m notorious for wearing long jeans even in the dead of summer, but when you wear so many layers to bind, something has to give. I’ve just been a little self conscious; I’m actually pretty fond of my furry legs, but in public I’m wary. Or paranoid. Probably paranoid.

But today I kept score at a volleyball tournament with Orlando’s Pride organization. Everyone was friendly and I got no funny looks. That’s as much as I wanted. :D

Also hello, all you new people! Uh! Thanks for following!

EDIT: Almost forgot! You guys—this is my friend Samm and he’s amazing. You should buy music from him. I swear I’m not going to hawk wares to you guys all the time, but Samm could use some help right now money-wise so if you could check out his music, that’d be awesome. :D

Text

zealousprince asked:

Oh snap! Well, if you want to take a look XD: http://carmentakoshi.deviantart.com/
Please ignore the ultra-girly username, I’ve had this account for a while, heh.

Haha, no worries. I’ve had my dA for a long time too, I just barely use it anymore. I’ll take a look around, though. :D

euanhayul asked:

hey man, I’m a transguy animator too :D keep on drawing! love your work! sorry for such a short comment but this is really all i’ve got to say! you are good!
Thanks! I appreciate it!
hyripteetyi asked:
Hey! Just wanted to say I enjoy your blog, especially the art works I can see here are awesome!
I also wanted to inform you about my other, trans-related, blog here on tumbl: http://myonlyroad.tumblr.com/
Glad you like it, and thanks for the heads up, I’ll take a look!

  • Question: Hey there! Name's Kristian, and I'm a Canadian transboy. How do you do. :)
    I just wanted to say that I really admire what you're doing with your transition blog here. I'm an artist too, so I also occasionally feel the need to express these issues in an artistic form like you do here. Nice work~ :D - ninelifedenchanter
  • Answer:

    Hey Kristian! Thanks for dropping by. Do you have a dA or something? I notice there’s nothing linked to your Tumblr. :D

  • Question: I love reading your blog and its easier to explain to my friends with a comic than verbally. Question, you're going to UCF right? Do you live in a dorm on campus? If so how was housing arranged? I don't mean to sound like a creeper but I'm going to a state school in Florida (idk which one yet) and I don't know how to proceed with housing. Thanks -James - lionsmustroamfree
  • Answer:

    Hey James. :D I do live in a dorm on campus. There is no gender-neutral housing, which sucks, but there is currently plans in the works to start pushing SGA for it. I live in an apartment-style dorm with three girls, two of which I’m not out to. They’re all pretty cool, though. And I’ll be living with a friend of mine who identifies as genderqueer in the fall.

    If you can avoid living on campus here, there’s lots of good off-campus options, and a lot are close enough that you could hop on a shuttle to get to campus. :D

    Most of the trans*folk I know who live on campus live in housing assigned by their legal gender, which is balls, but then again I don’t anyone’s tried to challenge it yet. I just got rather lucky and have at least one very open and understanding room mate. :D

  • Question: Heyy so I kinda feel terrible asking you these questions..I really hope you don't get offended. If you do, please ignore me...I don't mean to offend and if it helps, I'm gay myself.
    What does transgender mean exactly? So you are a guy but don't have a penis? and like girls?

    I'm really sorry =/ I know how much of a struggle it is with others about being gay, I couldn't even imagine what you're going through. And I'm sorry if I'm just adding fuel to the fire.

    I really like your blogg - ryandrucker
  • Answer:

    Hey, don’t worry about it, haha. I can’t really fault you if you have literally never heard of being transgender before, that’d be pretty douchey of me.

    Ok, first of, to understand what transgender means, you need to know that sex, sexual orientation, and gender are three different things that have no effect on each other whatsoever. Sex is the biological equipment you were born with (male, female, intersex, etc). Sexual orientation is who you’re attracted to (whether you’re gay, lesbian, pansexual, bisexual, queer etc). Gender is what’s upstairs in your head, and it’s what you identify as (whether that’s male, female, genderqueer, etc.)

    Most people’s gender (that is, how they identify) matches their sex. That’s called being cisgender. For example, if you’re born with male genitalia, and you’re cool with that and you think of yourself and describe yourself as a boy, you’re a cisgendered male.

    Transgender people just identify with a different gender than their sex. For example, I was born with a female body. However, it feels wrong to me. In my head I know I’m not a girl. I identify as male. There are people who were born with a male body and identify as women, too.

    A lot of transgender people then go through steps to change their bodies to feel more right to them. That’s called transition. Someone who’s female-to-male like myself would make steps to get my body to be more masculine, whether it’s through binding my chest to make it look flat, taking testosterone to get my body to start looking more ‘male’, and so on.

    Gender’s really complicated, actually. :\ This here link gives a pretty good basic definition of transgender. The word is an umbrella term; it includes people who are transsexualgenderqueer, cross dressers,androgynes, drag kings and queens, and so on. Not every trans* person feels like their body is totally wrong, but still want to express a gender that is independent of what people would expect.

    But in my case it’s that I’m more or less a boy in a female body, and it gets frustrating when all people see is a girl.

    (And just as a side note, you can be transgender and gay. Or trans* and straight, or trans* and bi, or any other sexuality! Just the same way you can be male and gay. :D)

    Thanks for asking, though. Education’s important! I hope this is helpful and not too longwinded.

    (And before anyone else starts on how I forgot something, look, it’s an intro course, ok. The whole gender vs sex vs sexuality thing blows a lot of people’s minds at first. You gotta learn a little at a time.)